Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Is this the end?

Friendships are hard.
I mean come on, they are basically the same as any relationship in that there are usually expectations, deal breakers, and of course at times even "break ups." I honestly believe that everyone should have several acquaintances but only a few good friends. It is just easier this way. How can you have a truly meaningful, safe, and fulfilled friendship with someone who has 15 other "best friends" that they have to foster relationships with.
 It can be so hard not to get attached right away when you meet someone and you just click. Wow, she likes the same shows as me, our husbands are alike, our kids are similar ages, we have the same hobbies, etc. but even more painful is when you start to really get to know that person and they just aren't what you thought.  At first maybe it was fun talking a little gossip, until you realize you are on the outside of her inner circle so what might she be telling others about you? You enjoy hearing all about her life, until you find out that she has told her stories to every other listening ear. At that point it is no longer genuine. How can you feel that you have a close relationship with a person that shares the same things with everyone. It starts to be a burden because friendships take time and energy. Two things that nobody has to waste!!
You have to wonder when your "friend" is telling you stories about their other "friends" that you don't know, and spilling details that are not your business in the first place. Are they looking to you for direction, or just gossiping because they have trouble keeping secrets. Again, would this not make you leery to let them into your life? I can tell you I have been on both sides here and often times in the end the loyalty doesn't lie with anyone. This type of thinking is not one of fostering any relationship at all.  
So how do you know when it's "the end" of a friendship? Personally I think when you no longer get excited to tell them when something amazing has happened. You no longer want to run to them as a shoulder to cry on when you hit a rough patch in life. Perhaps they make comments that if they REALLY knew you, they would know they were being offensive, or make you realize they never really knew you or your life at all. Unless they just never listened. When they start only talking about themselves or their other friends and you no longer seem to matter..... walk away.
There should be no reason to be burned in a friendship because we get to choose our friends. If you are unhappy or unfulfilled by someone you thought you could trust, just be done with it. Also, take note of the warning signs from the start, just as you would in any relationship! Some people are only put into your life for a season.
Friendships can be hard..... and yet GOOD friendships are essential. Choose wisely :)

PS:: I don't mean to be a quote queen but this one is good for today's post. Promise I'll have more personal pics back in my posts soon!


Monday, August 4, 2014

My life is full of Luxury

I actually had a post ready for today ( I know I was shocked too ) with pictures edited and all. Basically just putting my goals for August out there. I will have to post that another day because something else has come up that bugged me so much I felt like blogging about it. Because lets be real, this is the place I go when I have more to say than I can put into a facebook status or tweet. Or in this case, something I feel is important but I don't really want to shout it to the world that actually knows me in person. 

So here goes....

At least weekly I am bombarded with invites to direct sales type home parties, birthday parties, girls nights, lunches, dinners, drinks, BBQs etc. I have gotten really good at excusing my way out of them for one reason or another, but the truth is we just can't afford anything extra. People want me to run 5k's, donate for a cause, split an amazing deal they found somewhere to go wine tasting, and other things that "don't cost very much." Here's the thing... to me, they DO in fact cost more than I can afford. We live on a VERY tight budget. When I chose to stay at home after my daughter was born I had no idea how tight it would be. I knew that realistically it wasn't something we were able to afford at the time or even prepare for but I prayed and prayed and truly felt that God would provide, and He has. 

Sure, we don't get to go out to nice dinners, go on long vacations, take road trips, or buy things that aren't necessities. But, parks are free, game nights at home are free, our church events are free, and it won't be like this forever. Sometimes (more often than I care to admit) I get sad about the fact that it feels like I made a bad decision to stay at home, or the fact I haven't yet gone back to work. I feel bad for my husband who works so hard just to put all of his money towards bills and being able to put food on the table. I do surveys, enter giveaways, and babysit on the side to pay for my own car payment and gas.... but he carries our family for sure. Well in reality God does. 

All I ask is not to feel sorry for me but, pay your sitter on time, be understanding when someone tweets a TON of giveaways a day that blow up your twitter feed (this girl) and just take no for no when you invite someone out. Chances are if they could go they would, and if I could afford to babysit and be paid whenever you feel like it I would. Lastly, I enter giveaways more out of necessity than fun, I want to win so that we can enjoy some normalcy in our life..... or so I can enjoy some Starbucks and new clothes now and then ;)

Sure, it "doesn't cost that much" to most people to throw away $20.00 on whatever they want here or there, but listen to me when I say.... $20.00 to me, is gas to take my kids to the park, a couple new shirts for back to school shopping, or shoot sometimes that's my son's lunch money. When I say we don't have extra money I don't mean I just can't afford to put cash down on a new car, I literally mean If we don't NEED it to survive than I will not be spending money on it right now. My kids are happy, we own a beautiful home, have 2 decent cars, closets full of clothes (even if they are thrifted or hand me downs) we eat healthy foods, and own some really nice things. We have each other, and honestly have everything we need.

It's hard sometimes, but all in all friends LIFE IS GOOD, and my life still can be luxurious. 

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