Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Is this the end?

Friendships are hard.
I mean come on, they are basically the same as any relationship in that there are usually expectations, deal breakers, and of course at times even "break ups." I honestly believe that everyone should have several acquaintances but only a few good friends. It is just easier this way. How can you have a truly meaningful, safe, and fulfilled friendship with someone who has 15 other "best friends" that they have to foster relationships with.
 It can be so hard not to get attached right away when you meet someone and you just click. Wow, she likes the same shows as me, our husbands are alike, our kids are similar ages, we have the same hobbies, etc. but even more painful is when you start to really get to know that person and they just aren't what you thought.  At first maybe it was fun talking a little gossip, until you realize you are on the outside of her inner circle so what might she be telling others about you? You enjoy hearing all about her life, until you find out that she has told her stories to every other listening ear. At that point it is no longer genuine. How can you feel that you have a close relationship with a person that shares the same things with everyone. It starts to be a burden because friendships take time and energy. Two things that nobody has to waste!!
You have to wonder when your "friend" is telling you stories about their other "friends" that you don't know, and spilling details that are not your business in the first place. Are they looking to you for direction, or just gossiping because they have trouble keeping secrets. Again, would this not make you leery to let them into your life? I can tell you I have been on both sides here and often times in the end the loyalty doesn't lie with anyone. This type of thinking is not one of fostering any relationship at all.  
So how do you know when it's "the end" of a friendship? Personally I think when you no longer get excited to tell them when something amazing has happened. You no longer want to run to them as a shoulder to cry on when you hit a rough patch in life. Perhaps they make comments that if they REALLY knew you, they would know they were being offensive, or make you realize they never really knew you or your life at all. Unless they just never listened. When they start only talking about themselves or their other friends and you no longer seem to matter..... walk away.
There should be no reason to be burned in a friendship because we get to choose our friends. If you are unhappy or unfulfilled by someone you thought you could trust, just be done with it. Also, take note of the warning signs from the start, just as you would in any relationship! Some people are only put into your life for a season.
Friendships can be hard..... and yet GOOD friendships are essential. Choose wisely :)

PS:: I don't mean to be a quote queen but this one is good for today's post. Promise I'll have more personal pics back in my posts soon!



Nancy @ Neatly-Packaged said...

Very interesting. This really resonated with me. Good friends are hard to find.

Nika M said...

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