Barf... and pass the tissues.

Oooooof!

I'm still alive guys ... Barely. Sorry I have been so MIA but the cold/flu/pukes or hashtag "just shoot me now"(s) are in full swing over in my neck o' the woods. Thankfully I haven't had much more than a sniffly nose and sore throat but hear me roar people, this mama is TIRED! The poor girl child, aka the baby, has been so under the dang weather and I wish I could just make her feel well again because it's so sad! Honestly, all the laundry I have done these last couple days speaks for itself. Having a sick little is rough!!

So I'm going to leave you with some pictures and go wash my hair for the first time in days. Enjoy! 

Proof that I am a hot mess these days!!

The sick little girl... Sad face!

BOO YA! Look at me still bein all pinteresty and such. No weird strain of sick was puttin a stop to the boys valentine's day cards. Here I thought I'd be blogging all my Pinterest fails and yet these turned out alright so BOOM I win! Hope I'll be back to regular blogging (and showering) soon! 

Toodles!! 

Happy Superbowl {win for the Hawks} day

Woohoo!! It is Super Bowl Sunday people. More importantly, ok maybe not MORE important it's time for me to fill you in on how my weight-loss has been going.

In all reality, I'm sure there aren't many people stopping by to read today. BUT before I head out to eat everything in sight today I'll tell you the exciting news.

So, here's the thing.... I haven't actually weighed myself in 2 weeks because when I weighed myself then, I hadn't lost a single pound. Needless to say I stopped working out because of it. I figured if I was not going to be losing weight AND was missing out on all my favorite foods this wasn't the road I was about to travel. I know all of you that actually know a thing or two about losing weight or being healthy are probably shaking your head right now. I am too, trust me. Because I did some research and learned about water retention as your muscles are growing, and how about the fact that sure I may not have lost POUNDS but that because I was building muscle.

I didn't want to let you all down so I still put on my progress pic clothes on Friday night and took my front and side pics. Here they are:




I was shocked.

I didn't realize how much less of a gut (aka preggo lookin belly) I had after literal only working out through half of the month! Here is last months pic to prove it!!





So it's back on people...... uh, after today mmmmkay?!

Enjoy your game day eats and

          

My not so "average" day { a photo an hour}

Yesterday was a crazy day! Soooo busy. You know why it was so busy? Because I decided that I wanted to be a part of this link up where I take photos every hour throughout the day, and I didn't want to bore you all with pictures of me working at my computer all day long. So I planned yesterday to be a "day of fun" and it was fun.... just busy.

 

So here is what went down....

 

First of all Wednesday is the only day of the week, along with an occasional Saturday that I get to sleep in because my neighbor drives the kiddos to school that day. (So I get up to send him next door at 7:00am and then go back to sleep) Now don't get me wrong, to many people 7:00 am IS sleeping in. Not for me people, this mama likes her sleeeeep!

 

Long story short, even though its a little late for that yesterday I got to sleep in! So my day started at about 9:30.

 

 

 

 

Breakfast of champs (and of people who don't follow serving sizes... I could live off of this meal all day everyday I swear!) Special K Red Berries YUMMM and of course coffee!

 

 

 

Next it was getting ready time, shower blow-dry, make up etc.

 

Still on schedule the baby ate her lunch.... and of course took the turkey out of this wrap first thing. Ugh. Why is she the pickiest eater?!

 

Now here is where taking pictures took over my brain because I decided we should SKIP the normal nap time. Say whaaaaaat?! Instead we took a drive into town and went to the children's museum. So..Much... Fun!

 

This is the first time she had ever painted, super cute right!

 

Next mommy and daddy needed lunch so we stopped for some Pho. I got the tofu and veggie pho. Seeing this makes me want to go eat the left overs right this second!!

 

My son gets home at 2:30. Cute bus huh. He goes to a small charter school so there aren't many kids that ride busses home. Only a few kids on this bus. 

 

The baby went down for a late nap and  I spent a good part of the afternoon washing drying and ironing all the clothes that don't fit her anymore so that I could sell, donate, or consign them.

 

When she woke up we hit the store to pick up dinner and a movie Yay for pizza night. I know this is like the worst pizza to choose but oh man was it gooood.

 

 

See, good!!

 

We started the movie and watched it during dinner...Oh the things we do because its a school night for the boy but the weekend for the husband!

 

Bathtime for the baby... an hour later than normal! Then she went to bed.

 

I had a second cup of coffee..don't judge me... while I read to my son. He is doing a reading challenge so each week he has to read 100 mins and I have to read to him for 100 minutes. This week however we are playing catch up and doing 200 mins each. Its a LOT.

FINALLY, after the kids were both asleep It was relaxing time for us, to watch some Walking Dead on Netflix. Yep, the floor is still a mess and I don't care!

 

Which leads me the end of the night.... when I finished editing these pictures and preparing this blog post.

 

Every day is not this exciting.... but we had fun and. Hope you enjoyed a peak into my life!! Don't you want to join in on the fun?

via 

            

Life with a CRAZY person

Ya know, sometimes life just sucks, but what is worse is when there is no valid reason that I should be feeling this way. I mean on one hand sure... I am BIPOLAR, so is that not a valid reason?! What I mean, I suppose is that there are days like yesterday where everything seemed like a chore. I know we all have those days because, hello, women in general are over-scheduled and under planned. I just feel like yesterday I was a hot dramatic mess. I'm pretty sure when my husband asked me to print out some info for our taxes that he had no idea he was starting World War 3. It is so silly that I have days where something that literally is one click away on my computer screen seems way too distracting, and heaven forbid I take any time away from entering giveaways. It is an addiction people, I know! LOL.
  Along with this stupid bipolar craziness I am pretty sure I am also PMS'ing this week, which is not the Erin anyone wants to hang out with. I did manage to go out for lunch with a friend of mine. It was refreshing, and I was proud that I didn't cancel. Usually when I have days like this I flake out on everything and everyone.{I was super ticked however, when I got back to my car after lunch only to find the two douches parked on either side were so close I had to crawl in through my back liftgate... oh no you di'nt!!"} I did back out of a business conference/meet up because I just didn't feel like seeing hundreds of happy people. I wanted to eat pizza and watch a movie with my family. Not productive as an entrepreneur, yet necessary as a human!!   On top of random episodes of tears and snapping at everyone who crossed my path today (sorry hubby and kids) I didn't workout and obviously as stated above... ate pizza for dinner. I feel like I am on a downward spiral heading straight toward never working out again. Someone stop me because I have to get into a swimsuit and feel comfortable this summer. No excuses!   I also looked at my blog and almost screamed. Why is it so difficult sometimes. Why have I somehow turned my venting space into a place that I use only on a scheduled time frame. That's just not me. Sure, I like link ups, and giveaways,  and planned posts, but my main reason for having a blog in the first place is to be able to vent. To just spew my thoughts across a page so that other people won't feel so alone in the challenges that they face. I want to connect with people that were teen moms, abuse victims,  facing challenges in their marriages, people struggling to parent "the right way" single moms. I want to share my life of surviving on an extremely tight budget, gaining a healthy relationship with food and exercise, and being bipolar.     Most of all I want everyone to know that we are ALL these people in some aspect. We all have struggles, and issues and things we chose to hide because we are afraid of what people will think of us, or how they might judge us. So here is to reading more blog posts where people are real, I say it starts here.   Hi, my name is Erin, and I am bipolar, but I am just as "normal" as the rest of this crazy world.     Cheers!               

Vlog FAIL

I'm still alive.... sorry been a bit since I have blogged. I tired to vlog yesterday and did like 186882 takes before deciding I just suck at talking to myself in a camera. Maybe if I couldn't see myself it wouldn't be so bad, but here we are another failed vlog like a boss link up this Friday. Boo.

 

If I had successfully blogged here is what I would have told you:

 

- I have been working out every single day for the last 2 weeks!! That is good for me because I usually don't make it past day 3 haha.

 

 

**why are selfies on an iPhone so blurry? annoying !!**


- My company is launching so many amazing new products, loyalty perks and additional bonuses. I am SOOOO excited! I will be blogging about this soon, as well as a possible giveaway!

- I am also doing so well with my eating plan! I may or may not have eaten some breadsticks with garlic sauce tonight BUT that is the worst I have had in two weeks AND I still didn't go over my calorie count. BOOM!

 And lastly,

- We officially need to get a new computer or laptop. Microsoft Surface RT tablet DOES NOT= computer. Not even close.

The rest of my vlog would have been blabbing to fill time. So maybe I will be back next Friday on video..... maybe.

Take care loves!

          

Taste of Tuesday {Healthy Banana and Oatmeal Cookies}

Happy Tuesday friends!! It is Friday in our house aka the day before hubby is off for his "weekend" yay!

 

So if y'all have been following along, I am trying to lose some weight. Yep, just like the rest of the world is right now. I jumped on that bandwagon faster than you could yell chocolate covered potato chips. Good thing nobody did actually yell that cause I would have jumped right back off! Honestly I have yet to try those by the way, but they sound perfect.

 

Focus Erin

 

Anywho, I have been writing down everything I eat, counting calories, and tracking on my fitness pal app with the best of em. I'm working out almost everyday too. Yay me.... now to just keep this momentum going so that I can be one of those gym rats who sticks around longer than February 1st. With a sugar addiction as cray as mine I HAVE to find substitutes for foods I have decided I cannot live without. Dessert is one of those things. I tend to fall off the healthy eating spree when my brain is screaming at me.... SUGAR.... NOW. Then I will "bake cookies for my family" so that I can just taste the batter, and maybe lick the spoon, the bowl, my fingers.... and then it happens. COOOOKKIIEES. There goes one, two.... sometimes more. So the first day I started this new lifestyle I very quickly found a cookie that would not break the scale. You guys, even my husband loves them. WINNING!

k, yeah sorry for that.

 

You've got to give these a try. They could actually be eaten for breakfast, but for that I would leave out the dark chocolate chips. That's a lie. I wouldn't, but you could.

 

 ENJOY!

Ingredients:

- 3 Mashed Bananas (extra ripe works best)
- 1/3 cup apple sauce
- 2 cups oats
- 1/4 cup Almond Milk
- 1/2 cup Raisins (optional)
- 1/4 cup Dark Chocolate Chips (optional)
- 1 tsp. Vanilla
- 1 tsp. Cinnamon

*** mix, drop in spoonful's onto cookie sheet, and bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes.***

Yep, it's that easy (and delicious) lovelies. 

              

If you REALLY knew me {part 1}

We all have a story. Some are happier than others, and some will never be shared. When I started this blog I always imagined having a place that I could come and be 100% open. Along with telling the internet world your deepest darkest secrets comes judgment. That can be scary. Most people would rather leave the past in the past and never revisit. I believe that through open communication and dialog about the truths in life more people will feel "set free" from the tortures of those moments. I think that we all experience hardships and we all have our own issues, not talking about it just continues to isolate others into thinking they are alone.  

 

The truth is we are NOT alone.

 

We talked in church yesterday about high school students doing a challenge called "If you really knew me...." where secrets were shared, and the playing fields were leveled. It can be a truly freeing experience to really share your truths, so here are a few of mine.

 

 



If you REALLY knew me you would know that....   My dad passed away when I was just 13 and it completely changed who I am as a person. I became depressed, and life as I thought I knew it was ruined. From this I never truly recovered. Every big moment, happy or sad since then, I have wondered how it would be different had he still been here. I wondered if he would have protected me in times I needed a hero. If he would have sheltered me when I felt lost and alone. If he would have been able to make me feel the true love I longed for in a man and searched for after he was gone. His passing altered my future.   If you really knew me you would know that....   I was abused by my boyfriend from the ages of 18-21. He started abusing me 3 months into the relationship and before I could get out I found out I was pregnant. I was abused during my pregnancy. I never left and I never told because I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid to be a teen mom with no money and no future. I thought I was in love and of course thought he would change. I lived in HIS world for 4 long, brutal years. He continued to abuse me until the day he came home, looked me in the eyes and told me he was in love with someone else. The pain was a blessing in disguise.   If you really knew me you would know that...   I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 22. Depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress, insomnia, panic attacks..... the works. I sometimes feel like a huge faker because nobody can see the torture that goes on in the brain of someone who is bipolar. The stigma can be humiliating, and too many people are afraid to talk for the fear of being called crazy. Bipolar disorder is judged. Bipolar disorder is misunderstood. Bipolar disorder is hard. Bipolar disorder is a reality for many people, and you probably just have no idea.   If you really knew me you would know that....   I am normal. Many children lose their parents at a young age, 1 in 4 women have experienced domestic violence in their lifetime, and mental illness affects millions of people. So why are we silent. Why are we afraid. I bet we have more in common with each other than you even realize.   What would I know if I really knew YOU?